WORRIED ABOUT LANGUAGE

As I wander around the internet seeking out nubile young women who seek meaningful relationships with old arthritic, lung-busted, limp, smelly old men; I cannot help but notice the appalling lack of standards applied to what we jokingly refer to as the English language.  It seems that whilst I was indulging in a post luncheon nap, down in the side Garden of the Manor, the youngsters picked up on the ancient ritual of enforced mis-information directed towards the elder, more staid and stable segment of society. Their parents.  It's as if they are attempting to hide from us, the facts of their lives. It's as if their generation is the first to have discovered the pleasures of sex. ( of course, the Baby Boomers invented sex. ). It's as if they watched "Animal House" and mistook it for a drug hazed National Geographic documentary gone horribly bad. Binge drinking is so Last Century.  And why is everyone either bald or tomahawked? The guys, I mean. They can't all be ex-Rangers, can they?  

The dog is wrinkling her nose at my pathetic lump of flesh and attempting to kick dirt over me. I'll have to dig out and pour out some Devil Dog Chow for the little mutt.